E16 Listen to Lead: The Power of Constructivist Listening in Leadership

Dr. Kortni (00:00)
Welcome to the Compassionate Newsroom, your gateway to transforming the heart and soul of journalism. I'm your host, Dr. Kortni Alston Lemon. I'm a former news director and television reporter turned happiness scholar. Now I train news leaders and journalists worldwide, teaching them how to cultivate workplace wellbeing and resilience with positive psychology. Each week, join me as I share evidence-based strategies.

and talk with some of the most inspiring people in the industry, including news leaders, journalists, trainers, and mental health experts. Together we'll share actionable approaches to help you. Imagine a newsroom that not only cares about the story, but profoundly values the people behind them. A place where compassion is the competitive advantage. Don't just listen, become part of this transformative journey. Subscribe to and share The Compassionate Newsroom. Let's champion a more supportive,

healthier and happier newsroom culture, one episode at a time.

Dr. Kortni (01:02)
Welcome to episode 16 of the Compassionate Newsroom. I'm your host, Dr. Kortni Today, we're gonna dive into a topic that is truly close to my heart. And it's also the fundamental building blocks of empathetic connection. And that's constructivist listening. Recently, I had the honor of being a keynote speaker at a Martin Luther King.

breakfast a few weeks ago in the Charlotte area where we celebrated and really drew inspiration from the lives of compassionate leaders like Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mrs. Coretta Scott King, and also President Jimmy Carter and Mrs. Rosalynn Carter. The theme of my keynote was how to live a compassionate life.

like the Kings and the Carters. During the speech, I led an activity focused on constructivist listening, a method that emphasizes the importance of making people feel safe, seen, and really connected. So here's how it worked. So I set it up, initially giving them 30 seconds. Each attendee had to quickly

identify someone they hadn't ever talked to before. So it couldn't be someone they knew. It had to be someone that was a stranger, right? So they had to find someone that they did not know. So they had four minutes, four minute conversation. The pair had four minutes to kind of engage in two minutes dedicated to each person to speak without

interruptions here are some of the ground rules that are part of constructive listening that I laid out to the group. Give equal time. Each person gets the same amount of time to speak. No interruptions. I jokingly shared with them, you can't look at your phone. You also can't have your mind wandering.

When you're gonna go and hit the grocery store because you're thinking about your grocery list, it's really making sure that you are focused. Avoid criticism. you maintain a supportive atmosphere where the ideas and feelings can be freely expressed. And you stay engaged, as I mentioned before.

put away the distractions, make eye contact and show interest through your body language. And you listen deeply focus not on words. You say nothing, but on the meaning and the emotions behind them. Right? So you're listening deeply, just simply giving a person that time because

possibly interrupting the person may take away from levels of that flow, it's listening deeply, undivided attention. here's some underlying assumptions when it comes down to constructivist listening. This approach is really primarily the talker's benefit, allowing them

to express and clarify their thoughts and emotions in a safe environment. The capability of self-solution, it's really my favorite part in all of this. It's really predicated on the belief that people can solve their own problems when given the right conditions and a supportive listener.

So I told the group, tell your ego to stay at the door. Don't welcome the ego in. Ego might be very uncomfortable with sitting with suffering, right? Hearing all the different things to ego was to quickly fix it. Fix it. But it's not about you at that moment, It's about the person that's sharing.

The talker, then the best part about all of this is allowing that person to share. And it's reciprocated, in return, the other individual having that opportunity to share.

It also helps with processing. It encourages a blend of cognitive and emotional processing, leading to a greater understanding of connection. So here's some potential outcomes a constructivist listening to think about. A developmental process facilitates the growth through reflection, helping individuals understand and really articulate their experiences.

expression and the release of emotion, providing that safe environment of expression and allowing that person just to share, release, having that psychological safety that's been cultivated, especially based on these guidelines, are just freely sharing and new meaning. Helping participants

construct their narratives or perspectives, which also can lead to new insights, relationship building, and also forming alliances. So it fosters deeper connections and alliances through mutual respect and understanding encouraging individuals to take action.

based on their new insights and the understanding that they've gained. It's interesting when I had them come back and everyone sat in their seats and it was a breakfast so everyone was sitting at tables. I asked, I said,

how did this impact you? How did you feel? Because I did give them a prompt. The prompt they had was asking each other when they felt seen and a time in their life when they had a compassionate act, meaning someone was compassionate with them, and how did that move them? So just those prompts.

And four minutes, two minutes each, facilitated all of these empowering stories that was shared in a space of people feeling connection and some people being so vulnerable, sharing parts of themselves that other people in the room didn't know. It was really a very moving activity and something that

I feel is such a benefit to us all. when I challenged the audience, I really had them think about how they're going to position it in their life. And now I want to challenge you with the same how to engage in constructivist listening in your daily interactions, whether it's with your team.

your friends, your family, make an effort to truly listen and connect and share this activity with them. Begin to see what is uncovered. Ask about the times maybe they felt seen safe and supported what is with a family member or ask about times within your team where they felt

the most level of support or dive into topics that really need to have a level of constructive is listening. I honestly believe that constructive is listening is something that should be often done in our interactions. Mrs. King once said, compassionate actions of its members.

most accurately measure the greatness of a community. Today, I want you to think about that step towards building that compassionate community by focusing on that one key action, listening. The power of this activity during my keynote was truly profound, as you can tell. It not only brought people closer,

but it highlighted the impact of genuine listening. Something we often take for granted, or sometimes the ego wants to fix it, Or sometimes we do a lot of interrupting when that person is sharing, but it's incredibly vital in leadership and our relations as human beings that we practice constructivist listening.

As my favorite poet, Nikki Giovanni beautifully put it, I'm glad that while language is a gift, listening is a responsibility. as we conclude today's episode, I want you to think about constructivist listening. I want to encourage you to practice this approach. Listen actively, engage deeply.

and let's cultivate more compassionate environments, one conversation at a time. Remember, I'm always here cheering you on and supporting you every step of the way. See you next week.

Dr. Kortni (10:38)
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